The door closes in front of me and I am outside.

Inside is warmth, love, light, happiness.

But I am not inside. I am  out in the cold, lonely, freezing,

With no place to go, not a friend, not soul,

Weakness in my feet and legs,

Falling to the cold unloving ground,

Pain.

The dogs are barking, howling and running.

They are coming for me and I cannot move,

Freezing with pain, I am not worthy.

Kill me, dogs, kill me fast, 

Rip me to shreds, destroy me, dead.

And it will be an end to this pain,

The pain of knowing, that happiness

Was denied. My rejection, torturous dogs

Will not kill me, but only allow me to be kicked 

And beating, pain the stomach, pain the heart,

What pain, an eternity of pain in the space of moments.

Will this ever end. I am in the second death,

The lake of fire awaits for me. I begin to embrace it,

I warm to my freezing solitude, and the earth

Begins to feel familiar, its cold, stony, dry earth.

To forget the lost happiness, and embrace this mud.

Excruciating pain, hits again, but this time, it is less intense.

This Earth will take me in, like a mother taking in her child.